Saturday 26th July 2003
Saturday 19th July 2003
Saturday 12th July 2003
Saturday 5th July 2003

Any views expressed in these reports are the views of the author, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Edmonton Cricket Club, its committee or its members. If you find anything offensive or inaccurate in the content of these reports, or if you have any queries reagrding the reports, please contact us via email, stating the report you're referring to and the date so that we can take any action deemed necessary.

Saturday 26th July 2003

1st XI vs. Hanwell

Report by: Alan Barnard

I know I usually (well pretty much without exception) write a report on the Saturday 1st XI, but this weekend, due to the weather, the game was abandoned half way through. Add to this the fact that the 1st XI performed so well in their Chess Valley League game on Sunday, and you have a pretty strong case for swapping the reports around.

Firstly, I have to mention the top of the table clash at Hydeside against Hanwell, who were looking to avenge their only defeat of the season, inflicted upon them earlier in the season in emphatic style. On winning the toss, their skipper, Keith Barbrook put us in on what looked to be another better, with the intention of restricting us to a gettable total, and then chasing.

Thing started off well for us, with Tim Beeden and Owen Oldroyd scoring quickly to make 40 and 38 respectively. Venki fell shortly after to a stopping ball, and Barney followed soon after to the worst sweep since Dick Van Dyke, but Dodgy was still going strong at this stage. The innings was helped along by a solid unbeaten 35 from Danny Hare, and some positive running from wicketkeeper batsman Adam Herron pushing the score on nicely. Dodgy was the top scorer with 44, and we finished on 220 from 55 when the heavens opened, and it was decided that no further play was possible.

A Disappointing end, but with a bit of luck, nobody else will have taken more than 10 points, so things should look pretty much the same at the top of the table this week. With the tricky trip to Sudbury Court next week, and then the all important clash against Alexandra Park the week after, we have some tough games coming up that we must do well in. Team: Willett, Beeden, Oldroyd, Venkatesh, D Hinnigan, Barnard, D Hare, Herron, Worton, Street, Varley.

Sunday saw things take a turn for the better for the club, with the 1st XI taking on Southgate in the Chess Valley League. Southgate had won 4 out of 4 and with at least 3 Saturday 1st teamers in the side were a formidable prospect against our solid looking but inexperienced side. Winning the toss, Gavin Mardell decided to bat on a damp, green Walker Ground track, when many people thought it was wiser to field first. I was with Gavin, however, and as it turned out, the decision was a good one.

Tim Beeden opened up with Ses Jayasena, but fell in the first over, bringing in Danny Hare. Danny tried to bat positively, crashing a few short balls to the fence, but fell victim to a stopping delivery, bringing Dave Hinnigan to the wicket. Ses and Dave put on nearly 50, thanks in the most part to Ses taking the attack back to Southgate. He played some orthodox, and some unorthodox strokes to crash 48 in no time, and give us a platform on which to build on.

When he fell, the score was on 70, and Barney came in, lacking form, and scratched around for a number of overs trying to give Dodgy the strike as much as possible. Martin Loveday was not happy with Barneys scoring rate, and was heard to berate him from the sidelines, but the important factor at this stage was to keep our wickets intact. With the better bowlers seen off, it was time to push the scoring rate along a bit faster, and both batsmen were well upto the task.

Dodgy took the attack to Southgate, hitting a huge six, and smasking boundaries to take the scoring rate upto 5 an over, when it had been nearer 3. Barney did not wasn't to be left out of the run-fest, crashing the returning opening bowler for 18 from one over, and passing 50 with a powerful straight drive. Sadly, both batsmen were dismissed with the score on 205, and the innings lost some momentum, but with a total of 218 on a tricky pitch, we were quite pleased, and knew that bowling well would give us half a chance of an upset. For the record, Barney finished on 64, whilst Dodgy made an excellent 85.

Northern and Doddsey opened up, and found that you cant stray off line and length to quality batsmen, as Southgate's openers took the score upto 50 at 8 an over. Something had to be done to stem the runs, and Gav decided that a double bowling change was needed to achieve this. Varley in particular was unimpressed with this decision, but credit to young skipper Mardell for making the decision that would change the course of the game in our favour. Barney was brought on from the Waterfall Road end, and struck in his second over with a smart catch at slip from Beeden to one that just did enough. The real match winner however was a former Southgate player, who produced one of the best bowling spells that I can remember.

Martin Loveday strayed once from an impeccable line and length in 60 balls, which went for a total of 24 runs. He also managed to take 3 wickets, including that of the dangerman to a superb catch from Adam Herron behind the sticks, as well as their number 3 to an excellent catch from Nick Hubbard. This spell changed the match around, but we were still firmly up against it. Danny Hare and Ses Jayasena were brought on, and both bowled well to stem the flow. Southgate were looking comfortable when a silly mix up, and some excellent fielding, from Tim Beeden led to the run out of Southgate's middle order big hitter.

Despite this setback, they still only needed 4 an over from the last 5 to win the game, and this should have been a formality with their skipper well set, and working singles with every ball. The re-introduction of Doddsey paid dividends as first one of their bats hit a skier, which Firestarter did very well to cling onto, and then their skipper picked the wrong ball to pull, getting bowled again by Doddsey. It was left to Varley to pick up the final wicket (caught Herron), and seal a memorable win, which takes us within sight of promotion.

After such a poor start, the team, and especially Monster did very well to bounce back so well. Credit for Gavin for having the balls to make an unpopular decision, which turned the match and credit also to Dave for anchoring the innings, and taking a skier in the deep (we had faith in you - honest!). Everyone in the side can be happy with the fielding performance, and the never -say-die attitude which saw us through in the end. Top performance boys, and lets hope we can win again next week as we travel to Winchmore Hill to face more County League opposition.

Celebrations after were lively in the dressing room afterwards with Jim 'Lemon' Arrowsmith coming in for some telephone related abuse, and Adam Herron and Danny Hare making as much noise as we've come to expect. Top Bombing! Team Gavin 'Mini-Smith' Mardell, Tim 'Well-Round' Beeden, Ses 'Timekeeper' Jayasena, Danny 'Firestarter' Hare, 'Dodgy' Dave Hinnigan, Adam 'YMCA' Herron, Nick 'Teflon' Hubbard, Martin 'God' Loveday, Mark 'Dissent' Varley, Ciaran 'Doddsey' Dodds.

Sunday 3rd XI vs. Holtwhites

Report by: Ray Dodds

Look in fixture book, see Holtwhites, haven't we beaten them earlier in season? What team will they turn up with this time. Bugger me, its Trinibus we're playing, only 2 players left from first fixture, we're in for a hard afternoon. See large morning form on verandah, some one shouts club chairman in sight! It is indeed the noble Lord Blackcab (rtd) with his consort The Fragrant Wendy, Lady of the Locks. Has he heard about Imzamams retirement, has he come to present him with the Golden Box award for services rendered, has he heard that the Sunday 3's are entertaining the crowds and he wants to be part of this modern day phenomenon, no - son and heir playing for Saracens against our seconds. Ah well maybe another day. Massive excitement around ground as Team Bus (or was it coach?) rumoured to be playing for 3's. Suddenly, a dark shadow falls over ground, terror fills the childrens eyes one of the sight screens is moving - its walking - can't be - surreal - then it ! speaks!!!! Its ok kids, its only Paul Ryan in his whites. Trinibus win toss and bat first. Team bus opens bowling along with Dead Eye, Skip replaces Chocolate Bar Kid whose been slapped around the ground and anyways says he needs to maintain his strength as he is going to lap dancing club in Grays Inn Road the next say (How do you get loose change to stick in her garter belt??) We drop 7 catches, Team Bus tries run out gets his hand tangled between his legs and pitches head first into turf, someone shouts it was 12 on the Richter Scale and that all the bottles had fallen off the shelves in the bar. Chocolate Bar Kid comes back and takes 4 wickets, Skippy takes 2 and 1 catch off of Dead Eye who takes 2 as well. Trinibus out for 209. We make a poor start to our reply, losing 2 wickets for 10 but Glue Hands and Darling steady ship and we make steady progress, Dead Eye gets 22 before holing out but the collapse comes and we're 9 doen for 125, last wicket pair in CHocolate Bar a! nd Skippy is this time for heroics, can they fix it (unfortunately Bob the Builder isn't available this week) and they are all out for 158. Retire to bar where Team Bus bores arse off everyone by describing in detail each and every ball he bowled, how very unlucky he was not to get 10 for. Abuses skippy for not buying him a jug:- says never happened in his day - I think he may have been a cricketer at some point. Imzamam in bar afterwards telling everyone how they should have done it, also says he watched the Four's on Saturday and their fielding made him look like Jonty Phodes, i feel a comeback coming (P.S If you find it difficult getting up stairs after a game Imzi, why not buy a bungalow??)

Saturday 19th July 2003

1st XI vs. Birkbeck College

Report by: Alan Barnard

Birkbeck College at home was the fixture, and in the two weeks since we last played at Hydeside, the wicket had done the seemingly impossible, and got even better. This would have been excellent if we'd have won the toss, but unfortunately, Birkbeck won, and put us in, knowing full well that they were going to be in the heat for a hours, chasing the ball to all parts, but also knowing that it was their only realistic chance of winning.

Opening up, Owen Oldroyd and Simon Roche looked in little trouble, as they eased to a 90 run partnership. Owen fell to the first chance of the day for a well-constructed 51, bringing in Venki, who proceeded to hammer the Birkbeck bowling around the ground for an impressive 44. Next in was Dave Hinnigan, and when Rochie fell a few balls later for an excellent 77, Barney came in to bat with Dave. The two new batsmen looked in no trouble, as they eased the score up to 251 from 49 overs with a 70 run partnership. Barney was heard to comment that he could have easily batted all day, and that was the general consensus among all the Edmonton batsmen.

We took the field, and Birkbeck should have been 2 down very early on, after a mix up on the first ball of the innings nearly gave us the best possible start with a run out. Sadly, it was not one of our better days in the field, as we failed to capitalise on a number of half chances. At one stage, Birkbecks no. 3 and no. 4 were seriously threatening our total, as Wills and Neil were expensive, but youngster Mark Varley bowled us right back into contention with a superb 6 overs 2 for 9.

The game petered out towards a draw, although there were a couple of late scares, where Birkbeck looked to grab the initiative again, but we managed to take wickets all the way through, to gain a few more bowling points. Gaining 18 points was just about as good as it was going to get without winning, but we were left to rue the toss of a coin as we came off for rain 3 overs from the end. Willett, Oldroyd, S Roche, Venkatesh, D Hinnigan, Barnard, D Hare, Herron, N Roche, Street, Varley

2nd XI vs. Birkbeck College

Report by: Pat Carr

We arrived at Birkbeck, one of the nicer settings for a game of cricket in our league.

We were full of expectation. Khazi heard the opposition talking about their tactics, which were, win the toss, field, take time and bat for as little time as possible and draw. Lose the toss, don't worry about scoring runs but just stay for as long as possible and draw. Cricket is a game of tactics and understanding of limitations. Birkbeck ordered their tactics well and obviously knew their limitations.

We lost the toss and surprise surprise (wheres cilla ) we were put into bat - The track was not an easy one but Pat and Dom started really well. Birkbeck seemed resigned to the fact that they were going to field all afternoon and then bat out for a draw. The openers put on about 60ish before Dom was out, run out - this was a very dubious decision due to the fact that I could quite clearly see his bat over the crease from 22 yards away!!! The Rock has had some bad decisions lately. The "Ganja" boy joined khazi for a while and more runs followed until the Aussie was out to a good catch at point. Anil then arrived at the crease and as usual played with style and flair. The opening bowlers seemed to go on for ages before we got the usual spin stuff thrown at us. It was quite a good job because we would have to have taken tea at 6.30 otherwise, however, the spin was dispatched and the opening bowlers returned. Khazi smashed the returning opening bowler for two straight sixes. Anil was playing superbly and khazi was bowled out on 77. The skipper replaced khazi and after surviving a dodgy lbw shout managed to nick the next ball to the keeper - the bowler, who obviously didn't realise how lucky he had just been removing "brother of rock" for none, sent Kev verbally on his way. An exchange followed which sounded like a tourettes syndrome convention. After all the excitement had died down, Billy was given out lbw to a shocker - the umpires finger was up before the first nano second had passed and the bowler had barely whispered ho...................!!! Quality umpiring mate, then Anil holed out in the deep. Stav and Beefy took up the mantle, played superbly and took the final score to 247 - 7, Beefy unselfishly leaving himself on 47 to deny Birkbeck another possible bowling point, before the declaration after the full 55 overs.

After a route march back to the pavilion................tea was of an average quality.........................route march back to ground........................

Birkbeck batted with the obvious intention of getting to 75 and seeing what they could achieve thereafter. Smithy put down a difficult chance in the first over. Doddsy and Anil opened and both bowled well. The opening bats were both bamboozled by the bowling and it was a matter of luck than ability that wickets didn't start to fall. With only 38 overs to bowl, at the start of the Birkbeck innings, we decided on a tactic of mental pressure (Stav and Billy excelled) I firmly believe that mental pressure works when applied properly as it was at this match. The ball, meanwhile, refused to find an edge or a fielder. Frustration caused confusion and a quick single attempt should have resulted in an easy run out. Wickets did start falling but the result never looked anything other than a draw. Smith took a great skyed catch - well done mate. We lost count of the number of edges, air shots and mystery cricket strokes that didn't go to hand or find the timber. We were easily the better side and most of us cannot understand how Birkbeck are second in this league. We have played 3 other teams that are definitely better than them but credit where credit is due they were good enough to draw with us on the day. They finished on 134 - 6 so we picked up 18 points to their 11 which means that we are only 72 points ahead of Birkbeck now - Lets not panic just yet. We can still make the 500 club so lets go for it!!!!!!!!!!

Fines fund stands at £120. Team - Lawrence, Carr, Harte, Ganji, Sharma, Beeden, Billimoria, Elia, Smith, C Dodds, Loveday. Thanks to Shep for scoring and Ray for umpiring.

Sunday 3rd XI vs. Knebworth Park

Report by: Ray Dodds

Imzamam AL Hulk is still retired - his longest retirement yet. Sky Sports news come to ground seeking interview with great man but hes holding out for more money for an "his life, warts and all" offer from the News of the World, and so he does not appear as he sits by his phone waiting for the call. Knebworth arrive and have a very young team told mostly under 14's, they won toss and elected to bat. Play well with two of their young lads getting 50's. Controversy dogs the innings, have to take off the Preacher as he is much too fast and tries to introduce bodyline into game. Knebworth end up with 175 off of 40 overs. Our turn to bat Preacher opens and scores a fine 51 before he retires cos his girlfriend will kill him if he is late home. Preacher, now top of clubs batting averages. Glue Hands scores another 50, Darling Andrew fails for the first time this season (that will teach him to try to become captain) Shirley Hazell distraught, he caughts nought. Scramble home by! 3 wickets after middle order collapse led by a fine batting display from MiniCam.

Saturday 12th July 2003

1st XI vs. Polytechnic

Report by: Alan Barnard

After another excellent win the previous week away to third placed Southall, we travelled round to Kew to take on a Polytechnic side who were breathing down our necks, only a couple of points behind us in the Middlesex Championship. It was always going to be a difficult game, and it was not helped by the horrendous traffic on the A406 all the way from Hanger Lane to Kew leading to us only having 5 players at the ground at 1.25.

Fortunately Poly are a decent bunch of lads, and were happy to delay the start for a short while, whilst we got a few players changed and ready to go. Beeden tossed uop, and lost, so we were put in the field by a Poly side looking to get the best of an inconsistent wicket. With 8 players on the field, Neil opened up from the bottom end, and Northern from the Pavilion end. Both bowlers were expensive in their initial spell, as Poly's openers looked to assert themselves with a series of half slogs that seemed to find the gap every time. They had raced onto 80 at about 7 an over before we took the first wicket of the day, and we realised it was going to be a long hot day in the field as the temperature soared.

Varley was replaced by Streety and Wills replaced Rochie in a double bowling change that paid immediate dividends. Wickets began to fall, and Poly had slipped to 100-4 after some very sharp fielding in the slips from Willett to make up for the easier chance in the covers that he missed, and a showboating dive catch and roll from the Purple Dinosaur when just the catch would have been sufficient. We did not make the task easy with a few bits of slack fielding, although the outfield was not great, and can excuse some of the errors.

Venki was brought on to replace Wills, and bowled impressively, taking 4 wickets in total, in a tight 14 over spell of off spin from the bottom end. Wickets were falling regularly by this stage, with a smart leg-side catch from Firestarter, and a solid catch in the deep from Barney after he had covered a lot of ground. There were a couple of uncharacteristic slip-ups in the field from people who will remain anonymous, but in general, our performance in the first half of the game was reasonable on a tough day to be put in the field.

I can't get this far through the report without giving a special mention to the umpire, who was unorthodox in his signalling to say the least. The umpire, who we all agreed umpired excellently throughout, had a tendency to respond to appeals with a louder shout of "Not Out" than the preceding "Howzat?" Add to this the fact that he called wides and short runs in the same fashion, and you'll begin to get the picture. He even called "Over Bowled" louder than Smithy at full volume after each of the 40 overs bowled from his end - god only knows how his voice stood up to it all. At any rate, it certainly left us questioning the old adage of 'actions speak louder than words' by the close of play.

At tea, we were treated to quite honestly the worst spread I've seen before in any game of cricket, about 60 egg sandwiches, a few tuna, a few cheese, a few cakes, no salad and nothing else really. It seems that the 1000% mark-up on the cost of the basic ingredients that some teams charge for teas isn't enough, and they feel obliged to lower the quality to boot. I remember playing at Mill Hill a few years back, and having a superb spread, with hot and cold food, pasta, French bread, salad and loads more, why can't other teams take a leaf out of their book?

Anyway, rant over, Owen and Rochie opened up the batting and neither looked in any trouble from the Poly openers. In fact, Poly looked to be missing at least two bowlers from their visit to Hydeside earlier in the season, and they clearly needed them, given the eventual outcome. Owen was unlucky to pop up a catch from a stopping ball, so Venki came in to join Simon. Si didn't last a lot longer, as he was caught and bowled, and this brought Dave Hinnigan in, who again didn't look 100% comfortable, and fell to a catch from another stopping ball.

Whilst this was going on, Venki was looking to be positive, and had edged into the 40's with the total nearing 80, all he needed was a partner to stick around with him for a while. Danny Hare fulfilled this for a while adding 26 before he was run out the ball before drinks. Their partnership had swung the game well in our favour, but any more wickets could swing it right back to Poly. Wills went in, and played positively to get into the 20's, but there was no stopping Venki by this stage, and the flying Indian passed his centaury with the score on 185. It was up to Wills to hit the winning runs, and get the 30 points in the bag, as we eased to victory with 12 overs to spare.

All in all a comfortable end to a decent performance, although we know we'll have to raise our game if we want to beat other sides. To our credit, we stuck at fielding when things were going badly in very hot conditions, and a mention to Wills and especially Streety who bowled us back into contention, when the match was not going our way. We've got home matches for the next two weeks, which rules out traffic problems and the worry of getting everyone halfway round London when they have trouble getting to Edmonton at a sensible time. It will also give us a chance to prepare for the game, and warm up using decent facilities. Let's try to extend this run of good results. Team: Willett, Oldroyd, S Roche, Venkatesh, D Hinnigan, D Hare, Beeden, Barnard, Street, N Roche, Varley.

2nd XI vs. Polytechnic

Report by: Martin Loveday

The opposition turned up late and Kev the proceded to win the toss and put them into bat. Doddsy and Anil opened the bowling and it seemed that Anil was doing a bit too much early doors and the opposition couldnt touch the ball whilst Dodds produced a mixed bag of excellent swinging deliveries and some loser balls. They didnt look a bad side and we maybe underestimated them a bit. Doddsy got the breakthrough in about the 6th over as a full ball was driven into the covers and Billy took a good catch above his head. Anil continued to frustrate the batsmen and Dodds was to be replace by Lawrence. The big West Indian was very chilled out and took quite a while to et through the overs. To counter this Stav was given the ball from the bottom end to replace the unlucky Anil. Stav was bowling a mixed bag of 4 excellent deliveries gettings edges and beating the bat but the odd loose delivery got put away on a very small leg side boundary. Lawrence was bowling reasonably well making the batsmen play and had good pace. Loveday was to replace Lawrence in an attempt to break the developing partnership as they were on a bout 120 for 1. 3 overs into his spell Loveday bowled the Alan Porter look a like with a sublime delivery that moved a long way off the seam. A double change was soon to follow and Khazi replaced loveday from the top end and Anil was to replace Stav at the bottom. It didnt take long for the boys to get settled the third wicket fell with the score on 173-4 as Khazi dismissed the batsmens leg stump. Khazi claimed the next wicket aswell with the score at 204-5 after his good bowling got him an LBW (eventually). Now the wickets tumbled so quickly i forget what order they were taken in but Khazi got another one caught at square leg (in the end) by Doddsy and Anil cleared out the tail taking 4 wickets in 11 balls and leaving the opposition all out for 209.I think they were all bowled, and this included their opener who managed to get himself bowled on 97 playing an abysmal stroke. I do have to congrate their opener for his 97 as it is probably the worst constructed innings i have ever seen with catches going down and the ball flying of the outside edge on numerous occasions, but i guess we all need a little bit of luck.

Tea was the norm.

Khazi got the nod to open the batting with Dom and the boys did not hang around. The ball was being dispatched to every part of the ground as we raced onto 60 from 10 overs. Khazi was put down once of a tricky catch at mid off, as they continued to score runs. Bowling changes had to be made but they didnt really stop the boys rampage. LBW how can it be as Dominic was given out from the glove onto pad off the biggest piece of crap bowler. AP no need to retire mate if you will not play for the E's Poly have an place in the first 11 for some "flighted spin"...... Anyway back to the game, Anil walked into bat and hung around with Khazi till the score reached 160 ish. I have completely lost track now....... Anyway Khazi he gets himself to 95 not out and their is a drinks break. first ball he faced after returning he popped one up to point going for the big 6 (what a tosser) although this came as no suprise to the skipper who said "hes going to get out going for the big 6 the northern tosser", everyone was speechless except for one word...Tosser. Only messing though mate cos it was a great knock and made the game look very comfortable to us as Billy and Barrat steered us home within 37 overs to complete another win and make it 10 in 10. I dont know about the mile high club, but the 2's entered into 2 new clubs at the weekend. Khazi achieved the honour of joining the all time jug avoiding wan-key dismissals, and the skipper steered the team into the 300 point club. Well done boys another good win and we showed some excellent character out there......... BIRKBECK BEWARE WERE COMING TO GET YA............

Sunday 3rd XI vs. Speedway

Report by: Ray Dodds

Turn up for match, don't know opposition at all. Team gather, our great leader Imzamam Al Hulk has announced his retirement, not sure why this time but "Help Me Up" says it was a considered rational decision, Imzamam's body gave up, his overs run out, and he had no middle (ha ha) to his bat anymore. Don't worry though, our official captain is back from injury. We find we have 12 players even though we have given MiniCam to Everyreadys side (why does he only ever has 9 players at 1:45 on a Sunday???). We have given them MiniCam and kept MaxiCam on the grounds that we don't want to be seeing double in the field. Have team meeting, official skipper voted out of side on basis apparently hes crap. Most upset but told can score better then can play. Not entirely sure about this - suspect Glue Hands is involved in this revolt somewhere and Darling Andrew is named new captain. He tosses up, loses and we field, other side have some really good batsman and they amass 23! 3 all out off of 40 overs, only one 2 in their innings, must be that 1 or 4 pitch we're playing on again.

Some good bowling displays, Lovers takes 3, MilkyBar Kid takes 3 (thats 12 in the last 3 games, bet on him being top wicket taker if he can keep his mind off Carol Vorderman for long enough!) Dead Eye, the Preacher and Son of Glue Hands take one each. Bloody hell this could be hard going, Gupta goes quickly (not running, losing his wicket) Mickey the Mole holes out in normal fashion (does he not know about the middle of the bat?). In strides MaxiCam crashes a magnificent straight 6, wakes up 4 bowlers on the green in process, they won't give the ball back have to pleed, Sachin goes, Dead Eye gets two 4's then is bowled . In strides Glue Hands to partner Son of Glue Hands. They proceed to add over 100 together. Son of Glue Hands has never had to run singles so slowly to keep uo with old Glue Hands, getting back in game now when Son of is magnificently caught on boundary ! at second attempt for 87. 51 runs needed from 4 overs with Darling And rew at crease, Glue Hands holes out for 42 (another fine example in this team of jug avoidance). Darling Andrew bats superbly and we're down to needing 10 off of the last 2 balls. Darling Andrew smashes a 6 right onto the A10, one ball, 4 needed (will the dream come true??). Last ball, no fantasty ending 1 only. Darling not out for 34.

Great game of cricket, well matched sides this will bring the crowds back to Hydeside boomed the voice of President Michael, already well lubricated from a sojourn at the Middlesex one dayer at the Walker Ground. Great stuff all round boys. Skipper will be back next week cos hes going to selection!!

P.S. In changing rooms afterwards Glue Hands is brushing his tonsorial when his lovely dinky hairbrush sticks - Glue Hands has glue hair as well: His secrets out, its a wig!!!

Saturday 5th July 2003

1st XI vs. Southall

Report by: Alan Barnard

After last weeks near miss at home to Turnham Green, where we snatched a draw (and nearly defeat) from the jaws of victory with some indifferent middle order batting, it was vital that we bounced back against one of the stronger sides in the 2nd division, Southall. Having not played there for nearly 8 seasons (it was rained off 6 years ago in division 3) we were interested to see if the standard of the wicket had improved at all. The ground itself is not a bad place to play cricket, and the clubhouse is reasonable, but the wicket really was a minefield.

Winding the clock back a couple of hours, we were in the Hydeside car park, when Ses 'reliability' Jayasena cried off, add to this the fact that Danny 'Firestarter' Hare had not yet turned up (some alarm clock related excuse) and we had 9. A quick discussion followed, where it was decided to take Adam 'Double R' Herron from the second team. I phoned him, and he told me he was at his nans in Camden, so I asked him to get to Hanger Lane, and we'd pick his kit up from his parents. After a quick trip home to let the cats out, we headed to Winchmore Hill to get his kit. I was a little take aback when Adam himself answered the door, rather than his mum - as it turned out, he fancied a game in the 2nd team, so tried to put us off with his Camden story. To be fair, even if he'd have been in Birmingham, we'd have still asked him to get to a station near Southall for the second innings.

Fast-forwarding back to the start of the game, some of the worst traffic on the A406 saw Simon, Herron and myself arrive literally at the start time, we were told by phone that we were batting, and Rochie was due to open. After some lightning padding up, Si and Gavin 'Winner' Mardell opened up, and despite some tennis ball bounce, and some mini explosions with balls popping from a length, they lasted 10 overs, and saw the worst of the new ball off. Their 35 run partnership didn't seem much at the time, but put in the context of the game, had as much to do with the outcome of the match as anything else. Four quick wickets later, and Barney was batting with Herron, the wicket showing that even the best batsmen in the league didn't stand a chance, as Venki, and then Dodgy were dismissed trying to play shots to balls that stopped, gifting simple catches to the fielders.

Barney and Herron put on 28, of which Barney scored exactly 0, and when he was out, and Wills followed soon after, we were staring down the barrel at 75-6. Danny Hare and Herron batted positively, Herron showing that he's at his best grinding out runs on bad wickets, and Dan playing some cracking pull strokes. Herron was harshly adjudged LBW, and Matty followed 1 ball later, leaving us just below 100 with 2 wickets in hand. Ricko and Dan both batted well, Dan finishing on the top score of the day with 26, after holing out in the covers, pushing the score along to 115, and credit to Mark Varley and Ricko, who with some intelligent batting gave us half a total to bowl at when Mark was caught on the line with the score on 138.

I have to mention the shot of the day, and the incident of the day before I move onto our bowling performance. Firsly, Ricko was facing their 1st change bowler, who telegraphed a slower ball in the most blatant fashion, by moving mid on and mid off back 30 yards. Ricko realised this, and decided that they needed to be moved back into Hayes town centre to have any chance of dismissing him, hammering one of the largest sixes since you-know-when. Secondly, Varley, faced with their off spinner hit one of the hardest straight drives ever, which crashed into the sightscreen at pace, showing Barnard exactly how to use his bat in the process.

It was decided not to take tea, as we'd only used up 35 overs, so we turned around straight away, hoping to take a few Southall wickets before the interval, and apply some pressure. What followed was one of the best bowling and fielding performances I can remember in almost 10 years of playing 1st team cricket. Matty opened up, and had them 2-0 in the first over, their batsmen looking to impose themselves early on, and getting the same treatment as Venki and Dodgy, spooning catches to mid on with stopping deliveries. With the 2nd ball of the match, Matty got one to lift, and Short Leg Danny Hare hung on well, Venki followed this by taking a Simple catch at cover, shouting "Mine Mine Mine" and making no mistake to send us into wild celebrations.

Their Number 4, and best batsman was very lucky not to be timed out, the Edmonton players enquiring of the umpire as to how long he'd taken - I'm sure he was not ready in 3 minutes. The onslaught continued, however as Willett took the top end, and a smart catch by Rochie left them 3-2, all their runs coming from wides, as the ball was swinging uncontrollably. Matty made it 4 after Barney somehow managed to get his hands under a cut shot at point to cling onto a blinder, and then Willett added another after Ricko took the simplest of catches running around at mid on. This wicket gave Mini Smith the most pleasure, as he was the guy that called him fat when he was batting - Ricko making life uncomfortable for him with some expert sledging. Southall were in disarray, with their top order in tatters after some top drawer fielding at bowling.

Southall's number 7 came in to 8 Edmonton players whistling, as he had done the same for the duration of our innings. It was nice to see the tables turned, and we were more up for it than I can remember. Si Roche spilled a very difficult chance at mid off, but next ball, after some sharp calling from Mardell, Venki and Herron combined to run out the Whistler in bizarre fashion, seeing him amble back to the crease seemingly uninterested to make up his ground. An over of Spin from Ricko before tea brought a maiden and a couple of half shouts, and we retired to the pavilion to ring the news back to the club that Southall were on the ropes at 28-6 - better than even the biggest of optimists could have expected.

Even with their number 4 still in, rain looked like the biggest threat as we returned to the field, especially as Matty took the wicket of their number 8, caught by Barnard, who produced the loudest call ever to ensure that nobody took his catch. The last obstacle on the road to victory was removed as the lucky pigeon, making a timely appearance for the first time since Old Lyonians 4 years previously, shat on Willett, who then look a blinder to dismiss their number 4. We knew the game was won then, and basically went mental, rushing up to the skipper from all corners of the ground to celebrate. Almost as importantly, we also knew that Matt 'Who's the Daddy' Worton had taken a 5-for, and a jug was to follow.

It was fitting the skipper took the last wicket, another sharp catch by the Firestarter at short leg, and we walked in, heads held high having won by 99 runs. Fantastic performance boys - let's see if we can string a couple of them together and seriously challenge this season. There was singing in the showers for the first time since Chuck Berry and Saucy Sohoye were told off at British Airways for singing I'm a believer too loudly. Happy Days. Just for information, the most popular song was 'you're not whistling anymore'.

We returned to the club to see that the 2nd XI and the 3rd XI had both won, meaning that the night was one to remember. There was a 5-for jug from Matt, a birthday jug from Harry, a 'did you see my catch?' jug from the Purple Dinosaur, and numerous other beer drinking opportunities throughout the night. As can be expected at times like this, California Dreamin' was rolled out as the celebrations continued. It was a fitting end to a superb day for the club - let's hope there's more to come in the following weeks. Team: Tony 'Pigeon' Willett, Simon 'Cocker' Roche, Gavin 'Winner' Mardell, 'Mine' Venki, 'Dodgy' Dave Hinnigan, Alan 'Dinosaur' Barnard, Adam 'Camden' Herron, Danny 'Firestarter' Hare, Matty 'The Rage' Worton, Ricko 'Sledging' Lewis, Mark 'Northern' Varley.

4th XI vs. Acton

Report by: Alan Porter

The 4th XI were given the oppotunity to play at an excellant venue on saturday at Acton.The gruond has is new with superb facililities boasting 2swimming pools grass and hardcourt tennis courts,god restaurant facilities wher meals are obtainable all day. As you would expect feom anew ground it also has an electronic scoreboard with such simple contols,Even John Hinnigan who keeps as far away from the scoring as possible found it easy to work.The square is probably slightly smaller than our first team square but would appearto be wll prepared,as with anew wicket it will need time to settle in but will be agood place to play cricket and with good watching conditions on the terrace playing in front of a big crowd every week is something cricketers of our standard are not used to.

As for the match itself we lost.