Saturday 9th September 2000

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Saturday 9th September 2000

Report by: Alan Barnard

I'm afraid it's just a quickie this week, as I really don't have a lot of time on my hands at the moment. In fact I'm looking for somebody to help with this section, and the website in general next year, as I will be based in Portsmouth next year, and will only be around on Saturdays. The ideal candidate needs to have loads of time on their hands, be able to talk rubbish and be gullible enough to take on the job - step forward A. Herron!

On to this weeks game and I say game because I really know nothing about anything other than the first team, which was away against Polytechnic. Now Poly are a bit of an enigma. They have 11 players, but only five of them actually do anything, well six if you count the t*sser who stands at short leg all day and swears at you, then says you're a disgrace to your country - a real antipodean charmer.

The game was delayed for 1 hour 30 minutes due to the fact that the wicket was a swamp. In fact it made Florida's Everglades look like a small muddy puddle. The game meant nothing, we didn't want to play, they did. The umpire agreed with them, but then effectively ended the contest by delaying play until 1.30. Call me old fashioned, but when you have a wicket where you can stick you thumb in up to the knuckle with ease, you don't usually play. Mind you, I was frantically cleaning the mud off my thumb when their captain enquired as to who had made a hole in the wicket just short of a length

When we did start the game was always going to be a farce when I opened the bowling with Neil Roche. Mind you, we both bowled OK without success, then Rico 'Golden Arm' Lewis came on and took a wicket with his first ball - a slow long hop. Having said that, it's good to have a bowler of his quality back in the side, and I hope he'll be around next season. They eventually made 199-8, and we went in for one of the most expensive teas in cricketing history.

When we came out to bat, we showed our intent by opening with Andy 'Jonty' Cooper who promptly smashed some quality boundaries. More memorable though was Tim 'Angry' Beeden who lasted two balls. Having said that though, he did better than he did against the same bowler last time. He has now faced 3 balls this season from the guy, and has been dismissed twice.

David Hinigan was unluckily out to one that kept low, and Rico came in at 5 and lasted longer than Adam Herron at four. It was up to Myself and Archie McArthur to face out the remaining 20 overs to steer the game to the boring draw that was always inevitable. Archie played a sterling knock, facing out one of Poly's quicks, then attempting to play several half-hook, half-duck shot to some sharp bouncers. In the end he rightly called for a helmet and continued to frustrate Poly right up to the final over.

A brief word about the Fantasy league, we are currently looking into whether the league should extend through to this weeks games or not. It is in the rules, but we've not looked yet, so watch this space. Also, we can't work out the points without the scorebooks, and if they're not in the locker, then we can't do a lot about it. At the moment, it looks like Carl Langdell will take the £75, but there's a few people in with a shout. As this is the last weeks league game, this will be the last comment section of the season. See you next year. - Al.